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Thoughts On American Idol Top 11 Round 2: Elimination

March 31, 2011

Notes

Tonight’s elimination looks to be exciting, as two of these schlubs are getting kicked to the curb. Jennifer Lopez is styled very nicely tonight – hair, dress, total package. Steven Tyler stole Roger Daltrey’s pants. Seacrest lost that stupid side part and things are back to normal.

For this results show, the contestants are split into groups instead of performing together, so now there are a bunch of performances (and they aren’t all by Elton John)!

Lauren & Scotty – “I Told You So”

Lessons:

  • Scotty does his Bush impression no matter who he’s paired with.
  • Hey at least their pairing was age appropriate.

Ford music video “Kryptonite”

The Kidz Bop version was more convincing.

Naima & Jacob – “Solid”

Lessons:

  • These two are so cute together! The chemistry is off the charts! I hope they get a bunch of songs together on the tour.
  • Naima is a good singer, but Jacob’s presence brings her up to his level.
  • Jacob is kind of entertaining, but Naima’s presence brings him up to her level.

Fantasia – “Collared Greens and Corn Bread”

The season 3 winner is rocking the front pompadour like Janelle Monae. She makes all these little asides throughout the performance (“up top!”) that I wish more of the contestants would do. I must confess, I don’t know any of Fantasia’s music, but I love her voice. It’s squeaky but crazy powerful. The song itself is kind of slow, but it just builds and builds until Fantasia is wailing and the guitars are going crazy and the audience is swaying and clapping along. This is a good example of how to make a slow song fun. I like her.

Haley, Thia, & Pia – “Teenage Dream

Lessons:

  • One of these singers is not like the others.
  • Pia is the best, Haley is a windshield splatter and Thia doesn’t get a solo, but together they actually sound good. Good enough to rival the Dr. Luke vocal processing machine that is the original.

“The Idol Mansion Is Leaking” Montage

Who bought this mansion? Nigel Lythgoe? Mike Holmes would be hulking out right about now.

Paul, Casey, Stefano, and James – “Band On The Run”

Lessons:

  • “They formed a band!” I forgot all four of these guys can play instruments. Paul has a 12-string guitar.
  • Unlike the ladies, when they sing together they sound like fail. Worst band ever.

Bottom 3 (Announced in 4 songs)

  1. Naima Adedapo (America got it wrong like John Boehner on Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader)
  2. Thia Megia (there’s a bucket of chum in the shark tank)
  3. Paul McDonald (I’m normally down on Paul, but I liked what he did last night. I’m disappointed he’s in the bottom.)

Jamie Foxx and Will.I.Am – “Rio Product Placement Hot Wings”

“Maybe if I have enough dancing girls on the stage, no one will notice my half-assed singing.” Will.I.Am is a terrible singer and rapper, but he kicked Steven Tyler, so he’s ok with me. Meanwhile Jamie Foxx has clearly been getting complacent (“Blame it on the au-au-au-au-au-autotune”), because he sounds winded and sloppy live. It’s a good thing they could afford all those dancers, drummers, and capoeira fighters to distract from the musical sludge at the core.

Final results

Paul is in! Thia and Naima are out! Four ladies in a row have gotten eliminated on the show! This makes me uneasy!

I’m incredibly disappointed to see Naima go. She didn’t compromise and she did her own thing. And unlike a lot of these jerks, Naima’s choices were consistently fun every week. Eh, she wasn’t meant to put up with this show’s built-in bullshit. Maybe now she can find a venue that will actually give her the artistic space to grow and develop as the artist she was meant to be. Still, she was a respite from the typical lite-FM crapfest performances.

Meanwhile, I’m ecstatic to see Thia and her depressant and forced smile-addled antics get off my TV. I’ve been down on her all season, so I’ll just say that I hope she can go develop artistic experience and a personality. And given that the poor kid is only sixteen, she has time to develop them.

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